There had to be something she could say ... there had to be.As Andrea and Scott left for school, Jeanette picked up the phone and called The Wagon Wheel. There was no answer at this early hour, and she left a message on the answering machine that she wouldn't be in today and that she would call later to explain. She was deeply afraid that if Brent had left her, she would have to provide for herself and the children and she would need a job. This one, as bad as the situation was, paid very well and since she had no other skills, she would need to keep it for as long as she could. It was the worst of all solutions and yet the only one that she could think of.She thought of phoning Lloyd and asking if he had heard from Brent, but rejected that when she thought of the questions that it would generate. She had tried his cell again and again, but no answer. She had left several messages, but there was no answer. Was he ever going to talk to her again? There had to be someone she could talk. .."She shook her head in agreement. "It's not smooth. It's not smooth at all."And, indeed, it never had been for Karen.In a sense, she still thought of herself as a virgin. Perhaps not so in the literal sense, but in an emotional sense there was a truth about this she was too embarrassed to admit. True, she had experimented. There were the men who'd enjoyed her body when times were hard and the doctors' bills most difficult to afford, but she knew for sure that she'd not really relished their affection as much as they apparently did. And, in any case, her scruples had never let her go beyond oral sex. She may have suffered financially as a result, but she had limits she'd set herself, however desperate she might have been.When she was young and not so sure of herself she'd even had sex with women, but this was wholly unsatisfactory and more than anything reinforced in her mind just where her sexual preferences lay. It wasn't just the humiliation of leaving her female lovers.
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